


anchor

by raininginthestreets



Series: Original Angst [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Mild Language, Other, Pining, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:43:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23833921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raininginthestreets/pseuds/raininginthestreets
Summary: What could have been if I had stood my ground?Title is from the song "Anchor" by Novo Amortook the breath from my open mouthnever known how it broke me downI went in circles somewhere else
Series: Original Angst [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604281
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	anchor

**Author's Note:**

> _shook the best when your love was home_  
storing up on your summer glow  
you went in search of someone else

I’m terrified that I’ll blink and find myself at your wedding (not ours), years from today, and have to live with my cowardness.

That I’ll be living with someone, with a dog and house and a ring on my finger (and yours), and still long for you.

There was a time, before I accepted what it could all mean, when you dropped me off at home.

It was when we worked together (both of us, so proud of our first job) and you drove me home.

I can’t remember what the conversation was about.

I know I was cocky and using a smile to convince both of us it was all alright (that I was _ fine _).

You squinted your eyes, making a show of looking through my bullshit.

You leaned forward.

Your face neared.

And my heart went racing.

I pulled back (because _ no _ that could never happen).

There was an _almost_ there, I think. 

An almost kiss, an almost love, an almost start.

Or was it?

If it was, then not being by your side (causing your smiles and laughs and showing you off to my parents) is inexcusable.

And if it wasn’t?

Then I should be blessed that I pulled away instead of meeting you over the console. 

Even though it doesn’t feel like it.

Even if everything would have changed.

It doesn’t change anything now.

Next time (if there will be but there _ won’t _) I won’t pull away from what could be.

But I won’t be able to meet you, either.

Where does that leave me?

**Author's Note:**

> _and I hear your ship is comin' in  
your tears a sea for me to swim  
and I hear a storm is comin' in  
my dear is it all we've ever been?_
> 
> _caught the air in your woven mouth_  
leave it all I'll be heaving how you went  
in search of someone else


End file.
